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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25374265">Attention</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aikiai/pseuds/Aikiai'>Aikiai</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Norman reedus characters [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Blade (Movie Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Other</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 10:15:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>844</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25374265</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aikiai/pseuds/Aikiai</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Scud feels like he's not needed anymore,and that leads to stupid,stupid choices.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Blade | Eric Brooks &amp; Abraham Whistler, Blade/Joshua "Scud" Frohmeyer, Joshua "Scud" Frohmeyer/Abraham Whistler</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Norman reedus characters [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1965991</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Attention</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is honestly just a ramble fic from my norman server</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Scud couldnt handle it. Whistler was all blade seemed to care about from the start,sure ,but atleast he would want to be around scud before the old man came back,but now that he is back blade spends most his time with him.</p><p>Its understandable,sure,but it hurt. Blade still cared,still needed scud but scud could feel a deep ,dark nagging at the put of his stomach that was spitting out poison,but he ignored it. He could only ignore it for so long,but even so,he blocked it out and continued to work. </p><p>He worked until he got distracted by the thoughts dreanched in venom:</p><p>Blade didnt want him,hes just using him.<br/>
Blade doesnt even need him,he just wants to use him.<br/>
Blade doesnt care about him. Never did.<br/>
He means nothing to blade.<br/>
Blade will cast him aside assoon as he becomes worthless and useless in blades eyes.</p><p>Scud clenched his hands into fists and grit his teeth as tears welled up,a pricking feeling in his throat and nose. He didnt want to be diregarded like shit on the bottom of someones shoe. He didnt want to be forgotten. He didnt want to be alone. </p><p>He didnt want to be abandoned. </p><p>The thoughts sat and span in his head until he decided on the worst decision he had ever made. It was a bad idea. A horrible idea.it was cruel. He didnt want to choose it,not really. But he wanted to feel needed.  Feel like he was useful,like people needed him. He wanted company. He wanted to feel liked,hell ,even loved.</p><p>So he turned to blades enemies.</p><p>The tattoo hurt,it stung like a bitch ever since he got it,it made him less hungry,he wasnt stuffing down donuts as often and preferred sleeping more and more so he wouldnt have to deal with the pain.</p><p>But after a few days it became a dull ache,a itch that he couldnt really scratch. The tattoo could be but the meaning of the tattoo was burning him constantly.</p><p>While laying down under the thin camping blanket he looked at his workspace,the donut boxes,empty and full strewn all over the room,the tvs running repeats of power puff girls ,the quietness of early morning.<br/>
It was a display of love. Not relationship wise but in a 'let me look after you' way. Blade had let him stay and work,let him do as he wanted,let him buy as many donuts as he wished,watch powerpuff girls on reprat for the 700th time. </p><p>Balde cares about him..cared. blade cared about him. But hes replaced him. He isnt wanted nor needed anymore. Its clear to him even if its not clear to the daywalker and the old man. Its clear to scud and thats as clear as it needs to be.</p><p>A while later scud and whistler had gotten just a bit closer,it judt made the tattoo itch more,made him feel more empty than before.</p><p>He was betraying two friends. Not just  one.  He didnt like it. But his pathetic self had made a decision and he had to follow through,he had to.</p><p>When the time came,he was scared but the anxiety gave him adrenaline and the adrenaline made him giddy,he had to act the role of the villain,put on a show,so he did,he did the best he could,punching whistler twice,his regret and anger funneling through them. He thought back to how and why he had got this itch in the first place. He wanted to feel needed. He wanted to feel like he meant something. And just when he was getting comfortable ,noticing that he was still needed by blade, this had to happen,of course it did. </p><p>He would rather be a pet than cattle. He would  rather be anyones pet than a worthless human.  He didnt particularly want to be damaskinos pet. He used to be blades,he would have happily stayed as blades..</p><p>If only josh wasnt so stupid. Stupid stupid josh. Always so fucking stupid. He listend to blade say he had always suspected scud since he had first got the itch, and he could feel the pain in his chest suddenly expload into thousands of pains all around his body. He looked at the bomb as he let out an 'oh great'.</p><p>He was disposable. No. That wasnt it.   He could have easily chucked the bomb or droped it and ran,instead he just looked at it and accepted his fate.  Maybe this fate was the better one. Death over being a pet for someone he never really wanted to be with. Yeah. This was better...a nothingness. Blade had saved him from the worse fate. Blade had saved him before and noe he had killed him,blade still cared,even if it wasnt clear  to the old man or the day walker ,it was clear to scud, and that was all he needed.</p>
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